I just got back from the doctor and all I can say is I am still really really pregnant...No, I haven't dilated one bit from last week. Yes, I cried when I left the doctor's office. Yes, I just finished crying. And yes, I will probably continue to cry off and on until this baby is out! I had absolutely no idea how much my emotions would be thrown for a loop! Okay, I have gone through this before when I am on my period or something, but nothing has ever lasted for days and even weeks! All I have to say is poor, poor Jeff. He has been sooooooo patient though and just sits and holds me and tells me it will be alright, even though my emotions range from outright anger to the deepest depression I have ever experienced. It is tough and I am glad I don't have other children right now as I learn how to cope with these mood swings. Lots of praying and lots of reading my scriptures and listening to uplifting music have helped some and then venting to my mom helps too because she just listens and I can say whatever I darn well please without worrying about being judged and her not loving me anymore.
The doctor told me last week that he would be able to induce me at 40 weeks, but now he doesn't think insurance would cover it until I am 41 weeks because I am too healthy. By then my mom will be gone and Jeff will be in finals and that is what upsets me. He has six tests and two clerkships to do that week. And these aren't just your run of the mill tests. Dental school tests you study for at least a week in advance if you want to do well, so hopefully he will get some study time in the week my mom is here.
I did get my membranes stripped today and I lost my mucous plug a week ago, but still no contractions. I have tried acupressure and exercising practically until I could only lay on the couch and breathe, like today I walked six miles and cleaned the whole house and yesterday I did elliptical for 40 minutes and walked for another 40...nothing. Not even Bracton Hicks contractions! Really, I am not that uncomfortable and I don't mind being pregnant, but I am scared that the baby will come after everyone has left and Jeff is taking a final. Sorry for the pessimism, but I have to warn you, it may just get worse after the baby is born, according to post-partum information! :)
On a happy note, though, one of my friends just had twin girls early than expected and they are both healthy and doing well! That makes me smile because they have been waiting so long for these babies! Here is a real smile :)!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
So Sad
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6 comments:
((((hugs))) That is so tough! I'll keep you in my prayers that your water will break, you'll suddenly go into labor in the next few days or something!
I wish I would have called you earlier this week! I have though several times over the last couple of days that I should call and check in to see how you are doing! I am here for you 100%--Especially if it is during finals I can come help in the evenings so you won't be lonely when Jeff goes to study! I obviously don't know what it is like to be 9 months pregnant, but I dare say he hasn't come for a reason so keep the faith and trust Jeff and the Lord that it will all be alright! (Maybe you are having to go through all this so I can call you in 5 months and say Melea, I NEED YOUR HELP and you'll totally be able to empathize). I'll call you soon!
Melea, I stayed the same for a couple of weeks (with nothing..I might have been having contractions but I didn't know) Then one day I just started hurting (out of the blue) and then went to the doctor..still nothing (I cried) but the next day I had Brooke. I think it is a good thing to not have to feel the whole dialiting--but it is so hard. Each time I went to the doctor I wanted to hear some kind of change, but it was the same until the baby was ready to come. Like your friend said maybe your water will break or maybe the baby will just decide to come. My mom came into town before I knew I was going to have the baby and that did the trick. It is hard but soon the baby will be here. I was sure I was going to have the baby at 37-38 weeks but Brooke came when she was ready (an attitude I am finding more and more like her each day--she came out a little on the stubborn side). Good luck and you are in our prayers and so is Jeff. Let me know if there is anything I can do from Utah.
Thanks Melea! Let me just tell you that the post pardem emotions will be like nothing you have ever experienced. I have never cried so much in my life, or felt so depressed. My situation is very different from what you will go through, but I am sure you will feel wierd after delivery. Just prepare yourself. I wasn't prepared at all to feel so out of control. But it is passing! I hope the baby comes soon and that everything goes smoothly! Life is so fragile. Spending so much time in the NICU at the hospital has confirmed to me how special each child that comes into this world is. Birth is truely a miracle! How lucky we are to become mothers! Stop exercising and sleep, because you are not going to get any sleep once the baby comes!
Oh, sorry Melea! That would make me sad too. I would definitely want Jimmy there for the labor and for the first few whole days after.
I keep checking your blog hoping there is some good news of a cute little boy! Hang in there! You can do it!
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